Beauty is an interesting thing. Some people have this belief that people fall in love with an ideal, or a concept, if you will. They believe that once you have seen them purely as an object of beauty – an object to own simply because it is aesthetically pleasing to the eye – then there is nothing more to do with them except discard them or cage them as if they are exhibits in the museum of your life. This may be true of some beautiful people, but I am yet to meet someone that qualifies for so little in my life.
I think that it may have some elements of truth in it sure, but I don’t think that it is as shallow or self-serving as that. Sure attractiveness is always an initial jumping-off point, but then it progresses to see inside. And not to try seeing inside and manipulating the inside to match the outside in your mind (which is where the idea of trying to capture that idea comes from), but to actually try and discover who this person is. The stereotype is of them being vacuous and un-interesting, whereas I find that this is not always the case. Some are so incredibly complicated that you think you're getting to know them, or a part of them, and then it switches and you're learning about another; like a criss-cross of veins or arteries – they are numerous and always leading to the heart but there are so many different routes to take to help you understand who they really are. These girls are the ones that confound you at the same time as intrigue you. It’s not about this concept or an abstract idea of what you believe they are – it’s a very real process of trying to discover who they are. Even people that have known each other for years will never really know everything about the other – it’s always a learning process that takes years and years.
When you see someone you are attracted to, you are of course attracted to the physical aspects of who they are – the combination of body-parts that compose the picture that is in full view of the world. Of course, this outer shell being displayed to the public helps define who that person is. From the way they stand and walk, to the way they do their hair or paint their nails, to the clothes they choose to wear – it is all a demonstration of the sort of personality this person has. And if you see someone who appeals to you physically, it is not purely an attraction to the obvious beauty of them, but an attraction to the implied personality beneath. If you don’t believe me, picture this scenario: You are out at a bar somewhere with some friends and you’re looking for a good night (which essentially means you’re there to pick up). Who do you go for? You don’t go for the person that is dressed conservatively because we all know that the chances of meeting your future life-partner out drinking are next to none. No, instead you go for the one dressed for a good time. I’m not saying that just because someone is dressed for a good time necessarily means they are looking for a good time, but people make judgements based purely on that first look. In a club or a bar it is a purely superficial judgement, but in everyday life it is something more than that I think. Okay, sure it will be superficial to a degree, but in everyday life where you’re passing people on the street that you are not likely to see again, you want to show them who you are in as short as time as possible which means you’ll choose to display the most prominent aspects of your personality. This then relates back to my earlier point about how the initial attraction is not purely a superficial one – but rather a deeper working of the inner recesses of your mind taking in all the aspects of this person’s outward appearance and trying to deduce their personality from it.
Of course, this doesn’t always work out the way it should and I realise that there have been some gross generalisations in this piece of work, but you have to admit that there is a lot of truth to it. So when people say that you fall in love with an ideal, a concept based purely on their physical beauty, they’d be correct to a certain extent, but you have to understand that it is because they have interpreted how you look to reflect the basics of who you are on the inside. Once this has happened, they then have to decide if you are someone worth getting to know more, and more often than not if they’re attracted to you (based on these ideas) then they will want to get to know you more. They’ll want to find out what you believe in, they’ll want to appreciate and understand your opinions and passions, to follow the thousands of routes it will take to reach your heart and truly understand everything you are and more. If I was to say you were beautiful, what do you think it would mean? You would think it is simply a word I use to describe your physical self instead of your inner self. This is partly true – to me, the word ‘beautiful’ is a word used to describe everything I know about you; from your outward beauty to the person I am just beginning to know. It doesn’t mean that I am purely attracted to you physically, but instead I use it as a word to try and reach you on a deeper level – to try and tell you that I think that what I know about you so far leaves me wanting to know more about you; makes me want to delve into your being and discover the true you.
Being beautiful does not make you hollow to me; it makes you a body full of promise – the promise of discovering the little alleyways and hidden backstreets that are an amalgamation of who you are. I want to soak you up and take you in, piece by beautiful piece, until we are satiated with the knowledge of one another and discover the truth within us both.
That is beauty, and it can belong to anyone.
I think that it may have some elements of truth in it sure, but I don’t think that it is as shallow or self-serving as that. Sure attractiveness is always an initial jumping-off point, but then it progresses to see inside. And not to try seeing inside and manipulating the inside to match the outside in your mind (which is where the idea of trying to capture that idea comes from), but to actually try and discover who this person is. The stereotype is of them being vacuous and un-interesting, whereas I find that this is not always the case. Some are so incredibly complicated that you think you're getting to know them, or a part of them, and then it switches and you're learning about another; like a criss-cross of veins or arteries – they are numerous and always leading to the heart but there are so many different routes to take to help you understand who they really are. These girls are the ones that confound you at the same time as intrigue you. It’s not about this concept or an abstract idea of what you believe they are – it’s a very real process of trying to discover who they are. Even people that have known each other for years will never really know everything about the other – it’s always a learning process that takes years and years.
When you see someone you are attracted to, you are of course attracted to the physical aspects of who they are – the combination of body-parts that compose the picture that is in full view of the world. Of course, this outer shell being displayed to the public helps define who that person is. From the way they stand and walk, to the way they do their hair or paint their nails, to the clothes they choose to wear – it is all a demonstration of the sort of personality this person has. And if you see someone who appeals to you physically, it is not purely an attraction to the obvious beauty of them, but an attraction to the implied personality beneath. If you don’t believe me, picture this scenario: You are out at a bar somewhere with some friends and you’re looking for a good night (which essentially means you’re there to pick up). Who do you go for? You don’t go for the person that is dressed conservatively because we all know that the chances of meeting your future life-partner out drinking are next to none. No, instead you go for the one dressed for a good time. I’m not saying that just because someone is dressed for a good time necessarily means they are looking for a good time, but people make judgements based purely on that first look. In a club or a bar it is a purely superficial judgement, but in everyday life it is something more than that I think. Okay, sure it will be superficial to a degree, but in everyday life where you’re passing people on the street that you are not likely to see again, you want to show them who you are in as short as time as possible which means you’ll choose to display the most prominent aspects of your personality. This then relates back to my earlier point about how the initial attraction is not purely a superficial one – but rather a deeper working of the inner recesses of your mind taking in all the aspects of this person’s outward appearance and trying to deduce their personality from it.
Of course, this doesn’t always work out the way it should and I realise that there have been some gross generalisations in this piece of work, but you have to admit that there is a lot of truth to it. So when people say that you fall in love with an ideal, a concept based purely on their physical beauty, they’d be correct to a certain extent, but you have to understand that it is because they have interpreted how you look to reflect the basics of who you are on the inside. Once this has happened, they then have to decide if you are someone worth getting to know more, and more often than not if they’re attracted to you (based on these ideas) then they will want to get to know you more. They’ll want to find out what you believe in, they’ll want to appreciate and understand your opinions and passions, to follow the thousands of routes it will take to reach your heart and truly understand everything you are and more. If I was to say you were beautiful, what do you think it would mean? You would think it is simply a word I use to describe your physical self instead of your inner self. This is partly true – to me, the word ‘beautiful’ is a word used to describe everything I know about you; from your outward beauty to the person I am just beginning to know. It doesn’t mean that I am purely attracted to you physically, but instead I use it as a word to try and reach you on a deeper level – to try and tell you that I think that what I know about you so far leaves me wanting to know more about you; makes me want to delve into your being and discover the true you.
Being beautiful does not make you hollow to me; it makes you a body full of promise – the promise of discovering the little alleyways and hidden backstreets that are an amalgamation of who you are. I want to soak you up and take you in, piece by beautiful piece, until we are satiated with the knowledge of one another and discover the truth within us both.
That is beauty, and it can belong to anyone.
1 comment:
This post is lovely..
I especially love the last line.
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